Sri Lanka – Thank you!

Thankyou!

I’ve thought about how to end this blog. On another cliff hanger? That’d be fun, I have plenty of cliff hangers left to share!

I’ve lived a colourful life and feel blessed that I landed upon the skills of Mindfulness quite early on. Without these tools, I genuinely am not sure I would be here to tell my story.

I’ve learnt that mistakes are an essential part of living fully. Without them, life can be pretty bland. I lived with regret for a lot of years and it did me no good. If you yourself are holding on to any regrets, please forgive yourself and/or let them go. Regrets are weighty to carry and cause nothing but harm. They just hold us in the past.

Blame is another toxic energy. You may have noticed, early on in the story, how much I blamed my parents for my unhappiness. Further into the story I get much more into the anger of blaming them. The monks helped me to see that this perception was only causing harm. (To me and them) Therapy, meditation and mindfulness have all helped me to live without blame and regret. Both of which, ultimately, cause nothing but harm.

You’ve read about the depression diagnosis. The wonderful Australian monk that is about to become my one-to-one teacher helps me to heal from that. Turns out talking therapy along with meditation and mindfulness are incredibly powerful. That amazing monk is also rather famous these days! Since writing this blog, I’ve made contact with him again. It’s been a beautiful, humbling experience.

The reason the blog began was because I wanted to share with you some of the tools of how Mindful Lisa was developed. I hope I’ve managed to do that so far, in an adventurous way. Life is an adventure whether we decide to live it through the eyes of fear or love. Life happens whether we decide to fully embrace it or hide from it.

There are certain beliefs that I’ve developed over the years that definitely help me live a more fear less life. One is that everything happens for a reason even if I can’t understand the reason at the time. Another is that there is always something for me to learn in every situation that occurs. I believe that there is more to life than the eye can see. I believe that this life I’m living is 1 chapter of a book. The monks introduced me to the idea of re incarnation. I wasn’t buying it at the time. It was years later while studying clinical hypnotherapy that I had my own experiences of past life regression. I then went on to meet the wonderful Dr Brian Weiss (A psychiatrist and past life regression therapist). I now have absolutely no doubt that they exist and that I will live many more lives. I myself, am now also a regression therapist and have guided 100s of people from all different religious backgrounds through past life experiences. This belief has relieved me from the fear of death and in a way taken the pressure off of me.

We can choose our beliefs. We can choose resourceful useful beliefs and let go of the beliefs that are no longer serving us. I used to believe in Father Christmas. I don’t anymore. That’s not a useful belief for a 47-year-old woman to have. I now believe my loved ones buy me gifts. I used to believe I wasn’t good enough. Today I believe I am. Choosing our beliefs is not something I’d thought much about until much later on in life whilst studying NLP with a wonderful teacher Elizabeth Pritchard @Zeteticmind.com (I highly recommend you look her up for any or all NLP training) meeting and studying with this lady and her husband was as life transforming as training with the monks. (You’ll need to buy book 1 and 2 to take that journey with me.)

If I take a moment to over simplify what the monks have taught me, probably the most priceless bit of information was that my breath is my constant best friend. That I can find peace by inviting my mind to pay attention to my body and breath without judgment. Inviting my awareness onto my breath is something, 23 years later I still do daily. It’s my go to when I find myself really busy and stressed. I check in with my breathing and then take a moment to allow my breathing to naturally slow its pace. I’ve noticed if I’m frightened, I hold my breath, if I’m rushed my breath is short, fast and shallow. Our breath gives us so much inside information as to where we’re at physically, emotionally and mentally. If I’m about to teach and I’m nervous, I guide my attention to my breath and I settle. Spending time, creating a relationship, a friendship, with our breath is an absolute gift. It can connect us with the tranquillity and silence that is always within us, if we just take a moment to allow our breath to guide us to it. It takes practice of course, but is absolutely worth the effort. The reward far outweighs the small amount of effort required.

Having a curious mind would be my next choice of mindfulness lessons. Looking at life through the eyes of a child is a gift that we can all give to ourselves. Last year, I was cycling down the road towards my house. I cycle along this road most days from spring and through the summer months. Sometimes I get home and I’ve noticed nothing. Most days last year, every time I cycled this short road, I decided to ride it as if I’d never been down there before. I asked myself, what would I notice about this ride if I’d never been here? The beauty of the tree lined road, the sound of the river running alongside of it, the birds singing in the trees, the bend in the road, the small bridge, all struck me as absolutely beautiful. I cycled into my drive with a huge smile on my face feeling really appreciative of where I live. We can all do this in our day. We can all live our day through the eyes of curiosity and wonder.

As adults we can get caught up in routine and responsibility. It’s important to remember we can choose to look at the good parts too. We can choose to be mindful and curious. How many of you, like me, sometimes end up walking the dog chatting on the phone and end up missing the joy of being fully present, with your 4 pawed best friend. Or we can drive to work, not noticing anything new about the drive. We can head to the same supermarket, buy the same food in the same isles, get our petrol from the same petrol station. All of these actions require very little, if any, conscious thought. Mindfulness helps us to step out of living in a hypnotic trance state. Mindfulness wakes us up, it brings us into the present and helps us to appreciate all that we have and all that we are. I’m going to start recording videos on the ‘how to’s’ of what I’ve been taught.

I had a feeling 2 years ago that it was time for me to re visit Sri Lanka. I went back just before the first lockdown occurred. Godwin isn’t alive anymore but the centre is still there. Any one of you can go and practice meditation there. There is a new teacher of course, but this new teacher was taught by Godwin from a very young age. The centre is a little tired. It runs solely on donations. The plan is that when this blog becomes a book, part of the proceeds will be directly donated to this wonderful centre.

I’ve been asked a couple of times if certain people and parts of the story I’ve shared with you all are true. I want to confirm that it’s all true. Every experience is 100 percent real. I’ve changed a couple of the names of people as I wasn’t sure if it was right to use their real names without their permission.

I absolutely loved Alfred! He was so much fun. Stu was super patient. I’m not sure I’d say yes to someone coming along to India with me for 6 months if they hadn’t back packed before. In fact, I know I wouldn’t. We did end up dating for a bit and had loads of fun but it quickly fizzled out and we arrived back in the U.K as friends. I haven’t seen him now for many years. That bit of info won’t make the book as its not a big part of the story.

Miss Perfect: Remember her from the meditation centre? The monks sent her off to make mistakes! Seriously, one day I watched her pack and leave. I asked my then monk teacher ‘Where is she going?’ His reply ‘She has been instructed to go and make some mistakes in life. Mistakes are a vital part of living’. I looked at him, mouth agape and said ‘I’m guessing you won’t be suggesting that for me?’ He smiled kindly and said ‘No Lisa, definitely not’. This memory really makes me laugh. I swear that man could see my future. I had already made lots of mistakes but my goodness when I left that centre I went on to make a whole load more!

Remember the day we got taken to see the elephants? That really happened just as I wrote it. It was truly amazing! That memory is now in full colour and alive in my mind. A lovely exercise that I sometimes invite clients to do is to remember a really good memory in their mind. Notice all of the colours and make them brighter if you want to. Remember any sounds that go with the memory and make the volume the ideal volume for the memory to feel good. Remember the feeling and let the feeling spread throughout your entire body. If I’m worrying about something or I can’t sleep, I sometimes play with my good memories in my mind. They always make me feel better. It’s important to remember the good things we’ve done in our lives. When we feel good about ourselves, we share that feeling with all that we come into contact with. Every body benefits when we feel good.

I’ve got so much out of writing this blog. It started out as a means to share some mindfulness tools with you and ended up being an amazing trip down memory lane that will soon become my first book! It reminds me of another saying the Australian Monk said to me ‘Never be surprised Lisa, expect the unexpected’. To relive this time of my life has been so rewarding. I’ve grown massively in confidence. Remembering the journey I’ve taken to arrive at the age of 47, a happy human being, has been so fulfilling. I highly recommend taking some time to yourself to remember how far you’ve come in life. I don’t mean materialistically, although if that’s important to you then please do acknowledge it. I’m inviting you to acknowledge how many challenging experiences you’ve survived! I don’t know any human that hasn’t experienced heart break, the death of loved ones, some kind of traumatic experience to overcome. We have a choice in life. We can choose to become victims of the experiences we have and live with blame and regret or we can choose to accept that they happened, take the time to heal (perhaps ask for some help with that if we don’t know how to) and move on, appreciating each new day as it comes. Accepting it for what it is and knowing that this day too shall pass.

So, this journey with the blog is about to end. I am feeling a little emotional writing this. As I said, it’s been a rewarding and amazing journey. Before I go though, here’s a tiny bit of a taster of what’s to come in the book:

. While I’m still at the centre the lovely lady in white (remember her?) invites me to do 4 days of complete solitary confinement (Like what I’ve been doing isn’t enough!) I take her up on it!

. I decide whilst at the centre I’m going to become a singer (and a singer I become, with a twist!)

. In India I end up bumping into probably the most famous monk ever! The Dalai Lama!

. I relive a traumatic event with the Australian Monk and a therapist

. After leaving the centre in Sri Lanka, I get given what I think is an Indian cigarette, it turns out to be laced with heroin, I come very close to dying

Keep your eyes peeled on The Mind Sanctuary face book page for updates about the book. Like I said, please let me know if you’d like to be the first to read it, I’d love to get feedback from you before I publish it.

Also, I’m driving the Scottish NC500 in March, with Izzy. We will also be sleeping in the van. I’ve been told I’m completely bonkers to do it that time of year. Temperatures average from -7 to -15. I’m doing it then as most people won’t drive it until at least May and I want to experience it in all of its raw rugged beauty. Also, as you’ve probably learnt about me by now, I thrive in a challenge. I love the personal growth that comes out of it and I love having to practice what I teach.

If you’re up for it, I may just take you with me and blog the journey!

Thank you so much for taking this journey with me and remember, I teach all of this stuff in my classes, so come along if you like and give them a try. As you know, I love meeting new people.

Go Mindfully

Lisa x